A trying day…

I don’t believe in bad luck etc.. I do believe that everything is tailored for us, our fate has been made for us…

What I also believe… there are days we should have more stoct of patience than other…

Yesterday… was one of them…

I have spent the last week commuting form Solo to Jogja by prameks everyday, and finishing Borang and etc for D.IV Accreditation every night ( 12.00 pm is the earliest we can get home)

So maybe yesterday was the last toll… at 9 I was supposed to go to Sawit, Boyolali for Mobile Clinic, we held free health service…

I came late, at 10.00 so i had to drive there myself, not by ambulance with my friend

Having finished with 130 patients or so, we were heading home when i realised… I lost my cellphone…

I went back and tried to my purse which contains not only my cellphone, but also Driving license ( A and C) and STNK…

hmmm… until late at night i haven’t find it…

and when i started my car… it won’t start… if my brother and my cousin weren’t there with me.. I wouldn’t know what to do…

So… we tried to start the car… push the car… put some oil etc… hmmm… Thankfully… it started…

I drop my brother and my cousin at my Aunt’s house at Kartasura… and headed home… and hwalla…. I hit something with my car… it needs reparation… hmmm…

As if the day coulcn’t get any worse…

I guess there are days when we have extra patients… I’m thankful I got out of yesterday without more bruise….

Though there are still stuff to take care off…

intinya… Sabar…

Occupational Nutrition assignment for D.III of OHS

Dear students,

Please find out and discuss in group about :

1. Health Status Measurement

2. Occupational Nutrition

We’ll have brainstorming for the next class in which some of you will present about this topics and discussion with other class member.

You don’t need to collect the materials, just prepare for the discussion.

Have fun studying

Thank you

I’m sorry…

“ Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. “ George Burns (1896 – 1996)

 

It was 10.00 pm, Saturday night, that there was a knock on our front door… I already thought that It was my youngest brother finally coming home and forgot to bring his key… I opened the door, and there was this girl, introducing himself as Fian’s ( my brother) friend, and told me that they got into an accident. I asked where Fian was, thankfully… he’s okay… just a bit shocked.

Looking at him, I realized… It’s been quite a while since we talked… though living in the same roof, we barely see each other, let alone talk… This time… though unfortunate gave time for us to talk… me, my brother, and my dad… Mom is away to my other brother’s house in Jogja…

Everybody seems to think that we have a harmonious and nice family… I also think like that, a house, a decent living ( though not rich, but hey… there always meals on the table… and clothes to wear… )

I thought everything is okay… everyone is happy… turns out they are not…

I just learned from my dad that lately, Mom has been crying almost everyday, since us, their children, seem to not having enough time to just say hi… that her leaving to Jogja because she wants to escape from us…

 

Mom… dad… I’m so sorry…

 

I realize, I haven’t been giving my parents and my family enough attention these past couple of months…  I used to share a lot with mom, even over the most meaningless thing, talk some plans with dad, share some ideas and stories… and joke around or steal sometime to have dinner or lunch with my brother when I’m at MMC UMS, when he has free time ( he’s a student at Psychology department in UMS )

Lately… I haven’t even thought of those time… Let alone have it..

I just realize how aloof I have been… going to work in the morning, straight from bed, pray, do some work a little at my room, and then leave, most of time without having the breakfast that my mom has prepared…

Going home at night, often times, too tired to even change clothes, that I just go straight to bed, without even stopping to have a little chat with my family…

 

I’m so sorry…

 

I often complain to my boyfriend when I felt that he hasn’t given me enough attention, when he hasn’t called or sms about his where about, making me worried… what I didn’t realize.. I’m doing that too… to my parents… I hurt them just as much… if not more… Astaghfirullah…

I know how hard it is not knowing where your loved one is, what he/ she does… how they’ve been, how they felt…  I hurt them too much… with my ignorance and selfishness…

I’ve been too selfish and too caught up in my own world..  my job, my task and duties,  my problem.. that I forgot the lifeline that has been my everything and the one that has gave me all the strength and power to achieve what I have now… They are my most important…

Mom, dad, I’m so sorry…

I promise I’ll do better…

Just being contemplative…

I read some of my old writings in my old laptop… and here’s some of what i found… hmmm… interesting… my way of though back then…
‘Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.’

There is one hope that I always have, since the very first time I entered the hospital, doing this profession. I hope that there wouldn’t be a time when I consider death… the loss of life… as something usual, something not to grieve at, just some everyday occurence…

That hope slowly make it own death.

I cried the first time I lose a patient. It was my first day of Co-ass, Ward Anggrek 1, room 4. One Mrs S, 78 years old. I can even still remember her face. We were just checking on her, and she was so peaceful when her family informed us that she was no longer breathing. My seniors with some of the nurses tried to resusitate her, but it was useless. She didn’t make it. At 14 of September 2004, 08.42 a.m. We pronounced her death.

The second time… It wasn’t so hard. My eyes didn’t even brim with tears. And I hate myself for that. He was a driver, male, 43 y.o. He got hemorrhagic stroke. He was already in deep coma by the time he was brought to the hospital. We admitted him to the ICU, and after just few hours, he passed away. Another round of resusitation, some SA involved, but still… he didn’t make it. He left a wife, and two young daughter. I still hate myself that I din’t grieve for him.

The third time was even easier.

It was then one death to the other. Losing one patient after the other. I lost count, I never cried again.

Until this 11 years old boy. He was admitted to RSPA Boyolali with shortness of breath, high fever, we think it was Pneumonia. Later we found out he had Myocarditis. He was so relentless. Never give up fighting for his life. Please save me doctor, help me doctor. Was what he said that one Friday night on the beginning of July 2005. Mixed in with his prayer to Allah. I was there, with my friend… the whole night… not even sleep a blink, try to resusitate him and help him to the best of our knowledge. The fate has its own way. He died Saturday morning at 04.30. Cause of Death… Cardiogenic Shock. We were totally alone in RSPA, only with one attending physicians that covers the whole hospital. I had to tell his parent. It was the hardest thing i had to do…

I spent the morning at my room, It was the second time I cried after losing a patient. And I’m thankful that I haven’t lost that feeling completely. That I still have empathy and furthermore… sympathy.

I know that doctors, nurses, paramedics, shouldn’t have too much simpathy both for the patients and the family. We can only gives some empathy, or else… there would be time when we would burn out… having the burden of this profession to be too much… too painful to endure…

Well.. I’ll take that risk

For every life is important.

For every time we lose a patient, there is a network of family, a group of friends… and relatives that mourn for them.

I wish and hope that we will always consider death as something hard… so that we would try as best as we can to prevent it.

Allah is the one we all belong to… we just doing everything we can with his blessing and guidance…

Meeting an Old Friend

Today… I have a chance to meet a friend that I haven’t met in months… we used to be so close… he and I work for Mobile Clinic on those early days, and also for some other project in Muhammadiyah… but since he became a father last March, he decided that he has to take more responsibilities and work in his home town. Well working like what we did last year, won’t be able to make ends meet for him and his family… It was understandable..

But meeting him, just now… brings me back to those time… over a year ago.. when we were still so idealistic.. with time in our hand, and extra energy for us… Community Development.. that was what we were learning together… and by doing small works here and there… we were so optimistic… it was so wonderful…

I admire him for his dedication for people, and also all his experiences and furthermore, he makes me feel ashamed of myself for being so selfish and never care for people and those in real needs.. he help me realize there are so many things that can be done, and that we… actually able to do that…

We were a bunch of young people, full of idealism and optimism..

Our simple idea was, if we build three fundamentals aspects of life, which are economic, health, and education.. we would be able to build a better community for all…

One of the things that we think of was to provide free and accessible health service for poor rural community, for those are marginal people that are often neglected and forgotten…

He and his friends taught me how it is to deal with people in emergency.. he has his experience in Jogja and Klaten Earthquake, and it was so valuable when we were spending 3 weeks at Kanigoro, Magelang, or flood emergency response…

 

He also taught me that, we are not the better person, but we have to be thankful, for being given the chance to do even the smallest things for other people.. he taught me to say thank you for my patients… for everyone we have contact with…

Often times… I miss those days..

Now… we may part our ways.. but our idealism and promise is there…

Bismillah… hopefully with Allah’s blessing..

Accreditation…

When i entered UNS, i never thought I’ll be dealing with administrative work as much as i’m dealing with teaching, research, etc… but here I am, sitting on accreditation process of D4 Midwivery

The idea is to introduce myself with what things will happen on accreditation, what to prepare, cos after this, the next one to be accredited would be the program that i’m asigned to…

Makes me realize that we have so many things need to be done..

Bismillah..

The Wonder of Recreation

When I started this year, I know it’s gonna be a tough year…

Adapting to a new job and responsibilities while still juggling with old duties and task.. plus… trying to balance those with personal life… Going to campus from 7 to 4 almost every day, doing extra work until evening, dealing with Mobile Clinic, etc and going home around 10 or 11p.m almost every night… turns out to be… emotionally and physically draining…  

And October is the time everything seems to take it’s toll… I never expect that I would be that stressed out…

So when we found some free time for us, on Sunday, 19^th of October, after coming to two wedding invitation from my friends, I decided it was time to run away from life for a while… and recreation with your loved one is really a wonder…

Can’t remember the last time we had real time for ourselves, we usually have only those stolen moments, between break, or while doing some work, or after a very long tiring days.. so this is really refreshing… new strength and extra energy to face another full day and hell week, etc…

 

hmmm… it’s a deal… we have to schedule another run away time for us and make it routine schedule…

Any woman’s issue? : Career and Personal Life…

When I was still in early years of college… I have this life plan so meticulously designed…  

 I will finish my education in 2006, and will continue either my Master degree in 2008 or continue my education to become a pediatrician…

But life… has lead me in different direction… Joining MMC (Muhammadiyah Medical Center) in 2006, and then involved in Mobile Clinic Muhammadiyah Jateng starting from 2007, has shown me a different light…

 

I was reminded  again of my interest in Public health…  back then around 2004, my conversation my lecturer, about black goose and a beautiful mind..  and the work that I do at Mobile Clinic is somehow, is the real life version of Public health, though only the very basic one…

To fulfill my dream of having my Master Degree, and further my knowledge in Public health, I applied for Australian Development Scholarship in 2007 for 2008 year. My focus is on Health Service in remote and rural settings… I passed the first round of qualifications and I have to continue the test of English and Interview… but at the same time, I was offered a job at UNS as lecturer… another dream that I had..

I had to choose between school and work, and I choose work first, with a lot of consideration..  and also the fact that, as a lecturer I still can continue my education..  though not following my timetable.. J

And now, with Allah’s blessing,  I joined Public Health Department of UNS, though now, I have to also teach and work in Diploma III/IV program of Occupational Health, which also give so many new experiences and give new meanings…

Now, it’s my time to pursue my education, but… one thing I never thought of.. personal life… J in all my planning I was not considering marriage, children, and etc… hmmm.. so naïve that I was… I just thought it would just go along the way… but now…

Like it or not…. Reproductive age.. has to be think of, as a doctor, I know there are optimum years to bear  children… and Since I want to study abroad, I have to think again.. and since both of us are not ready for marriage now… we have to plan everything very carefully..

Do I have to choose again between school and personal life… my dream, will I have to make peace with reality and study in Indonesia..

Though no one forbid me to go, but things have to be considered again… Will I be really ready to start life there by myself, while my husband and children will stay here.. my son or daughter would still be very little when I leave for study…  I can not imagine how bad it would be if he or she can not recognize me as  their mother ( NOOOOOOOOOOO) or God forbid, blame me for leaving them when they need me the most… their formative years… My wish, to be there for every little achievement and development that my child would make…

and postponing the education is not really an option… I have to study before 2010… regulation and stuff… the fact that I’m still S1 (undergraduate)…

Or can I bring my son/daughter there.. and live by ourselves, since my partner ( so funny to call him that, but calling him boyfriend is also too teenagerish, and significant other is also quite strange J ), my partner cannot accompany me there…  

Postponing to have children is not likely too, remembering my reproductive age… hmmm… but the end result is… I believe in Allah.. he has His plan… all the things I have meticulously planned back then, turned out not happening the way I plan.. but for the best…

I have so many things I have to be grateful now, a great job, though with all the modification etc, a loving partner, who I love back, a wonderful family, though they always ask me to marry ASAP J, and a great circle of friend… and the work that I do at mobile clinic…  Alhamdulillah…

About school, life, and children… I believe in Allah… I guess… I’ll just follow His fate…

 

Bismillah…

Like i often told myself… the longest journey begins with one step… so let’s start our steps…

Kesehatan Kerja IV

Dear students, berikut materi kuliah Kesehatan Kerja IV pertemuan 1 dan 2

01-occupational-health-system

02-occupational-health-services

03-fit-to-work1

04-health-monitoring-and-surveillance

Thank You

Assignment for English Class of D.III Occupational Health and Safety

Dear students

Here’s your assignment for this week.

assignment

Thank you

Kesehatan Kerja IV – Preliminary Course

Kuliah Pendahuluan Kesehatan Kerja IV Program DIV Kesehatan Kerja FK UNS, September 10th 2008

Global Action Plan WHO – Worker’s Health

Mobile Clinic in Action – Emergency Response Flood

Flood that struck Surakarta regency and it surrounding area affected thousands of people, thousands acre of land and farm, road and many public facilities were also destructed by the flood.

 

On the early days, Mobile Clinic Muhammadiyah Jateng together with Muhammadiyah task force, including Muhammadiyah University of Surakarta, PKU Muhammadiyah Gombong, Bantul, Jogjakarta and also Muhammadiyah headquarter team joined together and held emergency response in 7 post accros the flood area.

 

Tanon Sragen

Mobile Clinic Tanon Sragen

The emergency post give health services, distribute logistics, and also held victim evacuation to for people who need it

the longest journey begins with one step…

So many things I want to say… so many things on my mind… when things just seems to difficult to explain… let the words be the bridge of mind…

Battered

‘ It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.’
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948)

She’s 23 years old. Pretty… even with the black circle on both her eyes, her broken lips, and her slightly swollen right jaw. She is a mother of 6 months old twin. Broken home family. All alone in this city.

" I fell. " She said and nothing else. One look at her face, and everything just fall into places. She can’t fool anyone.

Her husband is somewhat older. 40-ish. Good looking. That one I have to admit. But one look into his eyes and I shudder. I have never been more afraid to look into somebody’s eyes before.

I know I should have talked to her more, convinced her to leave her husband, asking her to pay a control visit, begging for her phone number, advices her to call the police, anything… I din’t.

She didn’t come for her control visit.

And there is not one single day passed by that I don’t regret that.

Not a single day that I don’t wonder.

How she is doing right now.

How her twin are doing now. 

I wish them okay.